"The Midriff": How can women-aligning people reclaim their sexuality?

*At this point, that feels like a trick question*

The sexuality of a woman-aligning person is undeniably obliterated by patriarchal media. I mean this in the sense that we are oversexualized, we reject that, we are called man-haters, and we try to reclaim our sexuality, starting the cycle all over again by making ourselves a fixation of the straight man’s ideals. I speak very generally here, obviously there are all different types of people, but I am targeting the stereotypes and my own experiences. I have issues with femininity and the stereotype around (re)claiming it. I feel like I am expected to be some thin blonde thing that can think for herself, flawless and intelligent but not too perfect to intimidate. I always think of Scream 4, in the intro where the killer tells Jenny Randall that she is “the dumb blonde with the big tits” and that’s why she gets more screen-time than her nerdy friend, Marni, and she retorts “I have a 4.0 GPA and 135 IQ, asshole.” I love Wes Craven, but he really could have had a few intelligent female characters, I mean even Sidney never stops whining when approached by Ghostface and Nancy can’t help but make a surplus of bad decisions when fighting Freddy. Why are these horror movie girls never super intelligent or normal-human sized in a field where almost all directors are men? Hmmm. Suspicious.

Okay, back on track, (: when women try to get past these stereotypes and find some strength, we first step to the idea of reclaiming our sexuality because logically, if people assign value to the feminine body, it has some inherent power that can be taken back. The only problem with this is that people don’t care about your reasons for being proud of your body, only that you show it off. This can best be seen in pop-culture icons like Ariana Grande. I am not a big fan of her music, but I loved her on Victorious, and I still think that she is really pretty, however, when I see her in “Side to Side”, “Focus”, or literally any video she makes, she makes a point of acknowledging how “hot” she is by showing lots of skin and silhouettes and tight clothes. I am torn because it makes me really happy to see that she is proud of her body, but it also perpetuates unreasonable body expectations and oversexualizes her for men-based audiences. It is a total double-edged sword.

So how can this be rejected? Hmmm. I've been thinking about this a lot as I have been growing up, and exposing myself to more media. This seriously is an unsolvable issue, save a few obscure examples, mostly in more underground communities.
I immediately think of Kathleen Hanna who is a musician and artist who was the lead singer of feminist punk bands Bikini Kill and Le Tigre. (She also dated Kurt Cobain and came up with the name “Smells Like Teen Spirit" and while that isn't super important to this piece and Nirvana songs about Courtney Love and Tracy Marander are way better, the point is, she is a total badass and deeply engrained in music history). I’m not going to lie, I’ve heard much better punk music, but she is one of my icons and I aspire to be her. She started Riot Grrrl and constantly performed wearing underwear or small dresses, ugly sweaters with “Feminist” stitched into them, or old band t-shirts, and she did it all in a very “screw you” way. She owned her sexuality (and her bisexuality <3), writing on her skin words like “slut” and “queer.” I think that this is the best picture I have seen of reclaiming sexuality, but I haven’t really seen that since Riot Grrrl.
Other awesome examples from the music world are Debbie Harry (Blondie), Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac), Joan Jett (The Runaways), Courtney Love (Hole), Kira Roessler (Black Flag), Haley Williams (Paramore), and trust me there are more. These women are my gods. Pardon my blasphemy, but to me, they are everything strong and beautiful that I could hope to be. They have been sexualized at one point or another, but they have always returned to having their own control. So where do newer artists like Ariana Grande fall into play? In my opinion, it is all in interpretation. Maybe she is one of your music gods, and to you, is simultaneously beautiful and in control. Maybe she commands her own femininity in ways we don't see. Maybe she is a pawn of record labels and has a ways to go. But she is human regardless, and she puts herself out into the media, walking the double-edged sword with hundreds of other singers, and that is not her fault. She still deserves respect for putting herself out there, and I don't want this to come off as negative to her, she is merely and example of a person fighting to fit into a difficult industry.

So how do we reclaim sexuality on a small level? Bypass stereotypes? Be proud of our bodies? I really can’t answer that, because one girl dressing in a bikini and dancing around can be soooooo oversexualized, but another in a bikini screaming at the top of her lungs can be considered a man-hater to the likes of Valerie Solanas? It is all in interpretation.

Kathleen Hanna

 



Debbie Harry







     Stevie Nicks






      Joan Jett







      Courtney Love






       Kira Roessler







     Hayley Williams